I have sat down to write this post many many times. I have written pages and then deleted, I have sat and blankly stared at an empty word document, I have written sentences over and over tweaking a word here or there to try to make this post as perfect as it deserves to be. This is a post unlike any other that I have written. This blog tends to be filled with pictures of the happiest moments, energetic toddlers, and growing families. Typically this is a blog of very few words:
This post is about two parents and their three sons. It is about life changing in an instant. It is about grief. It is about the ability to some how carry on:
Early this summer I read a post on Facebook about a classmate from high school that was pregnant with triplets (conceived naturally)! I contacted Jocelyn, the mom, begging her to let me take maternity and newborn photos for them. We spent a couple hours together one morning in July. Jocelyn and Sean were really great; so happy, kind, & genuine. They are one of the cutest couples I have ever been around. Their connection was obvious and they felt awkward in front of my camera... it was adorable.
A few days before our session they found out the gender of their children and we set out to snap a photo that they could use to reveal to their family and friends. 3 sons.
All seemed well that morning. Jocelyn was comfortable, glowing, happy, and healthy. Sean was attentive, loving, calm, & helpful. Only, a few days later, labor tragically began at only 20 weeks gestation. I received a message from Jocelyn’s mom. She informed me that the babies were born and all three of her grandsons were now in heaven. Jocelyn and Sean requested privacy as their grief began but a few weeks later they invited the rest of us to mourn with them as they shared a couple intimate photos of their short time with their babies: Kingsley, Sawyer, and River.
Hospital photos by: Peter Lopez
I barely know this family but the sorrow lingers. It doesn’t make sense & it certainly isn’t fair.
Jocelyn frequently writes about their boys, their loss, and their faith. She communicates how she wants to be treated, things she needs to hear, and how to acknowledge her grief. It is a blessing for all around them to be taught how to properly support this mom and dad as well as anyone that is grieving. Her messages inspired me to (with their permission) share their story as well. We all have a lot we can learn from this couple.
Sean & Jocelyn,
I have sat to write this post so many times and I have come up with nothing. I have no words that are capable of healing your pain and there is no gift that can fill your gaping wound. The only things I have to offer are these photos of when your family was complete (on earth), frequent thoughts and tears, and remembering Kingsley, Sawyer, and River and in their honor, volunteering to photograph families that are experiencing loss similar to yours.
“I have learned that grief, like a pot of soup, changes the longer it simmers and the more things you put in to it. I’ve learned that sometimes people say unkind things, but they really don’t mean to hurt you.
And most importantly, I’ve learned that there is something down deep within all of us ready to help us survive the things we think we can’t survive.”